The Ball of Spong
Episode 8
Season 1
U.K. Air date October 21, 2006
U.S. Air date February 10, 2007
Written By Jimmy Hibbert & Tony Collingwood
Daily's name Bobby Bouncybuns
Preceded by And That's For Helsinki
Billed with And That's For Helsinki
Followed by Destination Sun

The Ball of Spong is the 8th episode of The Secret Show, Aliens demand the return of the Ball of Spong, or they will sieve the Earth...

Fluffy Bunny ShowEdit

Despite her bad cough and the tuning required for her banjo, Sweet Little Granny is determined to continue with the Fluffy Bunny Show. However, halfway through the song, she discovers she's simply on a television set and is being carried away by a team of UZZ agents. Ray apologizes and gives the order to run the Secret Show.

The StoryEdit

Victor and Anita are investigating an unusual signal beaming down to Earth from space. Professor Professor asks where its coming from, and Victor replies that they are unable to tell. Professor Professor misunderstands this and responds with a playful, 'Oooooh, you can tell me!'

Anita confirms that the signal is coming from somewhere in deep space, and, as it is about to break through the ceiling of the UZZ control room, they return to recieve it along with Professor Professor. The sillouhette of a strange floaty-headed lifeform is emitted from a strange plasma bubble, announcing that it is a herald for those who are to come. When Victor speaks out against its sudden entrance, it promptly traps Victor in another plasma bubble, causing him to float above the ceiling, ignoring Victor's protests that he should pick on someone his own shape. The life-form then proceeds to tell the UZZ agents that his master requires the Ball of Spong, but is interrupted by a transmission from Changed Daily, who reveals his name of the day to be Bobby Bouncybuns. Unfazed, the floaty-head continues to tell them that the Ball of Spong is required by his master (having fallen to Earth 20,000 years ago), and if it is not returned, they will seive the planet. To emphasize this, he shows them footage of the seiving of Alpha Gargalon when they failed to find the Sacred Bucket of Sequi. The floaty-head concludes that they have three hours in which to find the Ball of Spong and leaves.

UZZ begins their fruitless search for the Ball of Spong, after some inaudible words of encouragement from Bobby Bouncybuns. They begin to realise, with the entire world to search and without having a clue what the Ball of Spong looks like, its a near impossible task. With an hour left to go, and things getting desperate, Ray suddenly realises that they should have checked the internet to start with, and promptly googles 'Ball of Spong.' He discovers that the Ball of Spong is exhibit 239/B and the Plundered Room at the British Museum. Victor and Anita promptly head to the museum and discover the Ball of Spong (which is right next to an Impostor helmet) a swipe it from its case. But as they fly pack, they realise that they are fast approaching the Floaty-Head deadline. A Floaty-Head ship appears above the base as Victor and Anita head to Bobby Bouncybuns' office, with Victor discovering the Ball has an unusual minty smell.

All of the agents are terrified at the prospect of getting seived, and with good reason - the Floaty-Heads are already putting the seive in place. Upon arriving in the office, Victor and Anita pass the Ball of Spong to Bobby Bouncybuns, who then hides when three Floaty-Heads arrive in the office for the Ball. However, Bobby Bouncybuns is transferred into the wall, along with the Ball...and right when the Floaty-Heads present a cushion for the Ball of Spong to be placed upon. Thinking on his feet, Victor plucks out his belt pod and places it on the cushion, defending himself against the aliens' scepticism by claiming that the Ball of Spong was bound to have changed after being on Earth for 20,000 years. The aliens reply that they will put the belt pod into the Cup of Spong to test its authenticity.

After the Floaty-Heads leave, Victor, Anita and Professor Professor feverishly hammer on the wall, screaming for Bobby Bouncybuns to come out. Bouncybuns himself is inside a strange survival pod, where a synthetic voice tells him that it was activated by the scent of alien beams, and that the Earth must have been destroyed in its entireity, leaving him as the sole survivor. Bouncybuns is quite depressed about this, but when the voice mentions that lunch will be served shortly, he instantly cheers up. Despite Professor Professor's estimate that they have only two hours until the fraud is discovered, the Floaty-Heads remark, upon returning to the mothership, that it will take no more than ten minutes. However, when Prince Spong, the Floaty-Head leader, approaches his servants, he tells them that the Cup of Spong is in the New Room, and it will take half a day to get there. One of the other Floaty-Heads then suggests using the Mystical Elevator of Ping, which will only take half an hour.

Deciding to get things moving, Anita fires an AwesomelySized-AwkwardBlasterWhatsit(c) onto the mantlepiece, spliting the wall open and revelaing the egg-shaped survival pod, which Anita remarks is Mark I and indestructable. A small screen on its exterior casing reveals that Bobby Bouncybuns is indeed inside, demonstrating his strange habit for growing a beard quickly. He is unable to hear the agents' plees for him to come out. He is dictating a diary to himself, and it would appear that time is somewhat distorted inside the pod, as he believes himself to have been inside for at least a week - and he's still waiting for lunch.

Deciding to find a ingenious solution to get both him and the Ball of Spong out of the pod, they fire a massive cannon thingamablob at the pod, sending it straight through the floor, out of the building an onto the ground below. The pod is undamaged, but Bouncybuns' dictation reveals (under his assumption of a meteorite) that he heard the impact. Professor Professor concludes that he would also be able to hear morse code. Victor promptly taps SOS onto the pod, but Bouncybuns simply believes it to be nine small meteorites hitting the pod in a row, which he hopes will activate the chef. Victor promplty breaks down onto the pod.

As the Floaty-Heads continue their journey to the New Room, UZZ and their allies attempt many ways of opening the pod. All attempts are futile, and the Floaty-Heads finally reach the Cup of Spong. They place Victor's belt-pod into the cup, and predictably, the pod makes a sound like a quacking duck and hops out...umm...right. Prince Spong understands that this means the cup rejects the false ball, and orders to seiving to begin. As it does so, Victor and Anita are flying up to space, this time carrying the survival pod with them, attempting to get a signal through for the seiving to stop, as they have the true Ball in their position. As the signal gets through, Spong snaps that there is no reason for the Floaty-Heads to believe them this time without proof. Victor offers that the Ball of Spong has a minty smell. Realising this is authentic, Spong holts the seiving and allows the two agents of board the ship. Although intially angry that the survival pod was not the Ball of Spong, Spong is then calmed down when Victor informs him that the Ball was inside: ''

Bobby Bouncybuns meanwhile, with a lengthy beard, dictates to his non-physical diary that he has been in the pod for months now (although this is only his perception of it) and that he has given up on lunch and is contemplating eating the Ball of Spong - in his view, the Earth has been destroyed and there's no more use for it, and, has a lovely minty whiff. Spong orders the Ball of Spong to come out and the survival pod splits in two, revealing Bobby Bouncybuns having just finished the Ball off...amid a minty belch.

Infuriated, Spong flings Victor, Anita and Bouncybuns back to Earth and orders the continuation of the seiving. The population of the world looks in fear as they are powerless to prevent the entire planet being destroyed...until Spong is distracted when his grandmother shows up in a ship at least five times the size of his. She is initially affectionate and wants to know whether or not he has his Ball back yet. However, she immediatley turns hostile when she notices her seive seconds away from destroying the planet. She berates him for using her utensils and promptly grounds him, adding that his friend Klump (whose on the ship with him) is a born trouble-maker. She drags his ship off home (along with seive) informing him that his mother will 'go mad.'

Back in the briefing room, the UZZ team are expressing their relief that the nightmare is finally over, but Ray informs them that an attack force is heading their way demanding the return the Ball of Spong. When Professor Professor responds that the Floaty-Heads had gone home, Ray replies that it isn't the aliens, but the British Museum.