Alien Attack
Episode 11
Season 1
U.K. Air date November 11, 2006
U.S. Air date February 24, 2007
Written By Tony Collingwood
Daily's name Peekaboo
Preceded by The Secret Room
Billed with Mirror Mirror
Followed by Mirror Mirror

Alien Attack is the 11th episode of The Secret Show, Victor and Anita make first contact with aliens, until Anita smells the alien delicious, she eats it on live TV! Only our vegetarians are our only hope...

Fluffy Bunny ShowEdit

Sweet Little Granny is caught berating a misbehaving bunny but quickly begins the show with enthusiasm when she notices they are rolling. Things seem to be going well, but Ray and his team arrive by helicopter and prepare to clear the time slot before running the Secret Show.

The StoryEdit

Victor and Anita are pursuing an alien visitor resembling a one-eyed green snake in a strange personal spacecraft with a glass dome. The alien crash-lands, and although Victor and Anita are initially worried he may not have survived, they find him to be alive and well, greeting them in his native language. Anita shoves Victor forward to go and make first contact, and his greatly amused when his choice of greeting is, 'Hey there, little fella.'

Nettled, Victor asks Anita to come up with something better, predicting she will simply say 'Greetings!' and laughing uproariously when she does so. Apparently getting bored, the alien switches on a translation device and says, 'Greetings!' to which Anita happily replies. Though slightly annoyed with the cliché, Victor is glad that the alien didn't say 'Take me to your leader.' However, that is the next thing the alien says.

Victor and Anita take the alien back to UZZ HQ, to which Changed Daily congratulates them. The alien greets him in his native language, referring to him as 'leader,' but Changed Daily is quick to correct him, telling him that he's not the Earth's leader and that his name is changed daily for reasons of security, and that his name today, much to his dismay and to Victor, Anita, Professor Professor and the alien's amusement, is Peekaboo. Peekaboo then informs the alien that the World Leader will meet him at a televised event, and the alien thanks him.

Whilst preparing the studio for the historical meeting, Marlon Zen is artistically hurt that the alien will be wearing green, as it's a cliché, but admits that it's his decision. The World Leader and her husband approaches him, much to his excitement, but he passes out when Peekabo gives the order for the World Leader and her husband to remove their heads - beneath these masks, they are revealed to be Victor and Anita, and Peekabo admits he should have explained to Marlon that they were pulling this stunt, as the security risk was too great for the real World Leader to attend (she and her husband are following events live from an air-tight bunker in Helsinki).

After recovering from his fainting fit, Marlon proceeds to take Victor and Anita through greeting the alien in his native language. Victor initially has some difficulty, but after vocal training from Marlon (amidst immature contests) he gets the hang of it.

Victor and Anita successfully give their vocal greeting to the alien, who gives them one back, and then a handler resembling a waiter removes the dome from the alien's spacecraft (resembling the lid of a platter) for the physical greeting, agreed to be a single touch of the World Leader's little finger against the tail. Anita, however, is distracted by the sudden enticing aroma coming from the alien, describing it in her thoughts as 'roast chicken, much more!' Although she tries to resist briefly, she grabs the alien and promptly slurps it up and swallows it down, much to everyone's shock. Marlon faints again, and Victor pulls Anita out of the studio. Peekabo then angrily informs them that Anita eating the alien has triggered an invasion of Earth, with thousands more of the green aliens descending onto the planet. Anita apparently has little memory of what happened, and is horrified to see the replay of her act on TV.

As the aliens land, Professor Professor discovers that many people, enticed by some smell they are fond of, are eating the aliens like Anita. Although Victor thinks that this means the problem is over, he changes his mind when he sees Anita has developed blue spots and her hands have swelled to enormous proportions. Peekabo informs them that everyone who eats the aliens become spotty and big-handed, and that they must stop the aliens coming to Earth. He is, however, distracted by his favourite smell of roast lamb, leading to him eating an alien. Professor Professor also eats one, believing it to smell of beef schnitzel. Anita asks Victor how he can resist the smell, and he realises that he is not affected because he is a vegetarian.

Victor quickly assembles a team of vegetarians who haven't eaten aliens, consisting of Ray, Kowalski and three other agents, promising the others that they will find a cure. The Vegetarian Task Force arrives at the green aliens' mothership, where Victor demands of an alien at the bridge whether there is a cure for they have done. The aliens replies that there is, which they have been trying to tell the humans of all along, but is cut off when Ray eats him. Victor is mortified, and Ray apologises, saying the alien smelt 'fishy' and that he couldn't help himself. Victor is dismayed to learn that his vegetarian task force is actually comprised of pescetarians, who promptly eat several more aliens, growing spots and big hands, as the aliens desperately try to inform Victor of what he can do to save humanity, telling them to 'eat the second course.'

By this time, Victor has discovered another, larger mothership, which Professor Professor christens the 'Pappy Ship,' and informs Victor that they are ready for the new, yellow alien species that begin landing, preparing to launch missiles. Victor and his taskforce are also prepared to launch an attack on the Pappy Ship, but when the agents protest that the ship smells so 'chocolatey' and of 'cream fudge' and 'Momma's apple pie,' Victor remembers what the alien said about the second course and tells Professor Professor to let the yellow aliens land.

In the Pappy Ship, a yellow alien informs the team that they have travelled many light years and ask whether they have eaten the green ones. The alien is pleased to hear that they have, and is about to tell Victor what to do to save their world when Ray eats it, claiming it tasted of vanilla ice cream. Down on Earth, plenty of humans infected by the green aliens begin to eat the yellow ones too. But back on the Pappy Ship, the team discover the reason for this. Ray's hands shrink, his spots disappear and he belches out a large bubble, containing the delighted face of a blue alien. The alien announces that the fusion is complete, and thanks the humans for completing their life cycle, revealing that the green and yellow aliens are evolutionarily required to reproduce, and can only do so the particularly acidic digestive systems that humans have, meaning that the humans were meant to eat the aliens all along. The rest of humanity is promptly cured and belches out similar alien bubbles.

As these many new life-forms leave Earth to explore the rest of space, Peekabo reflects in the briefing room that humanity has, for centuries, searched the answer to the biggest question of all - 'Why are we here?' He then casually remarks that they now know, and asks if everyone is comfortable with that fact. Victor, Anita and Professor Professor give affirmatives, and Peekabo is quietly pleased.